by Bill Lussenheide

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A Sad Final Eulogy
Service Conducted by Bill Lussenheide

With heavy but unsurprised hearts, we announce the passing of the Montana Republican Party Legislative Session of 2025, which succumbed to a painful and preventable demise on April 29, 2025.

The official cause of death has been listed as 9 aggressive cases of political cancer, known in medical journals as the “Out of Line Nine,” compounded by 11 sudden and severe episodes of terminal “Not of Heaven RINO Syndrome” in the House. Efforts at resuscitation by the Freedom Caucus were valiant but ultimately no match for the spread of chronic cowardice and the devastating effects of liberal-induced brain fog.

Despite being born with good bones and a solid constitution (literally), the 2025 Session tragically lost its will to live amid betrayals, bad votes, and the kind of political acrobatics usually reserved for reality TV shows and circus clowns. The estrangement of a lost close relative known as the Montana State GOP caused the deceased much heart ache in their final days.

Survivors include the Montana Freedom Caucus, a few unbought and unbroken patriots, and the stubborn, freedom-loving citizens who still believe the words “We the People” actually mean something.

The body will lie in state at the Helena Capitol Building, where mourners, gawkers, lobbyists and political consultants will pay their respects — or collect their final checks — until the formal burial proceedings commence with the 2026 Republican Primaries.

In lieu of flowers, the family of Liberty requests heavy donations to Constitutional Freedom-loving candidates, preferably those who know the difference between a conservative principle and a RINO.

Special scorn to the sellouts, the seat-warmers, and the professional fence-sitters whose treachery and spinelessness made this obituary necessary — your “service” will never be forgotten (no matter how hard you try to rebrand next year).
May this session rest in peace — and may the spirit of actual conservatism rise again in 2026.