A Cantankerous & Cynical Review

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Gold Dust & Desperation (1860s)

Montana’s first teachers weren’t paid in dollars—they got gold dust. Which is great… unless you sneeze. Sarah Raymond taught a mob of frontier kids for $125 in glittery sand, while her assistant got $75. Supplies? Whatever fell off a wagon. A true “DIY education system.”

The Free School That Wasn’t Free (1889–1900s)

The 1889 Constitution proudly declared: “Free schools for all!” Which really meant: “Surprise! Property taxes for everyone.” So yes, school was free—if you didn’t mind coughing up half your ranch every year.

Trust Lands: The Pocket Change Jar (1900s–Today)

The state promised to fund schools forever with money from public lands. Ranch leases, timber, minerals—the works. Sounds dreamy. In reality? Today, it covers about 5% of school costs. That’s like throwing a quarter at your kid’s tuition and calling it good.

Mill Levies: Democracy at Its Pettiest (1920s–Today)

Don’t like your school budget? Too bad—time to vote on another mill levy. Montanans have been nickel-and-diming education this way for a century. It’s basically Groundhog Day with ballots: vote yes if you like kids, vote no if you like paved driveways.

The Great Lottery Swindle (1980s)

When Montana started the lottery, it was “for the schools.” Two years later—poof!—straight into the General Fund. Classic bait and switch. So yes, your grandma’s scratch-off addiction funded algebra for about 18 months.

The Federal Sugar Daddy (1965–Now)

From LBJ’s “War on Poverty” to COVID stimulus, Uncle Sam has been bailing out Montana schools like a codependent parent. At one point, feds covered 21% of our school budgets—way above average. Translation: Montana education is running on training wheels borrowed from D.C.

Higher Ed Hunger Games (1990s–Now)

In the 90s, the state actually funded 72% of university costs. Today? A measly 26%. To make up for it, colleges lured in out-of-staters and charged them three times the tuition. Welcome to Montana—where your kid can’t afford school, but rich out of state or country libtard students come for school and want to vote here too!

Today: Organized Chaos

Current funding is a messy stew: some from the state, some from locals, some from feds, and a sad sprinkle from trust lands. Oh, and if your school needs more? Better start campaigning door-to-door for that sweet mill levy. Nothing says “world-class education” like begging your neighbors for permission to buy textbooks.

The Takeaway

Montana schools have been funded by:

gold dust,
property taxes,
trust-land pocket change,
endless mill levies,
lottery lies,
federal pity checks,
and tuition extortion.

In short: we’ve tried everything except something fair and sustainable! Yet, somehow homeschoolers do a better job, with no support, and no funding! Is there a takeaway here that is being overlooked??